Why do we procrastinate?
It’s because we associate something painful with the task we’re avoiding. The problem is that we’re motivated more by pain than by pleasure. So, we avoid what we desire instead of dealing with the pain to achieve it.
Knowing this raises an important question: What is at the heart of all the pain we want to avoid? Can we boil it down to its essence and deal with it effectively?
I believe that at its core, two primary fears drive our behavior and cause us to procrastinate:
If we try and fail, we aren’t good enough.
That’s a tough one to deal with. Deep down, we all occasionally doubt ourselves. However, every attempt, whether successful or not, is an opportunity for growth and does not define our worth.
If we try and fail, we won’t be “loved” (connected, accepted, trusted, etc.).
Have you ever been attracted to someone but were too afraid to ask them out? What if they said no and everyone found out? How could you deal with the shame of all your friends laughing at you?
Experience has probably taught you that your mind exaggerated the situation, but it still shaped your behavior. The fear of rejection (loss of love) was too painful.
If you’ve ever failed to take action, it’s because of these two primary fears. Both are grounded in faulty beliefs that value the illusion of loss over a commitment to something greater.
To quote Nick Hall, “Change your beliefs, change your life.”
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